Friday, June 14, 2013

Boy, Do I Have a Story For You!

Jeez, where to start? Well, as you may or may not know, my boyfriend and I had planned to move to Bristol. Notice the past tense. Jake lost his wallet, like 3 hours before our plane left. Yay. Also, he left part of his luggage on the bus. So, after a week of madly running around trying to sort shit out, feeling like we were contestants in the Amazing Race, we finally have everything done. Now, all we have to do is wait. Le sigh.
     "So, what have you been doing this past week, Brittney?", one might ask. (Or one might not, but in that case, one may fuck right off.) Cooking!!!! And also reading about cooking. And also playing Scrabble.

One thing I've made a bunch of this past couple of weeks (mostly to impress people, if I'm being honest) is my Coconut Curry. It's so good you wouldn't know how vegan it is (if you don't add meat, which I do).

Fucking delicious looking, right? If you aren't having a mouthgasm, you're too picky and need to change.


  • Coconut milk (from a can) - I use 1 can for every 2 people I'm feeding. 
  • Lemongrass - 1 stalk for every can. 
  • Lime Leaves - I don't know, just a bunch I guess. 
  • Ginger - some.
  • Garlic - lots.
  • Tumeric - about 1 tbsp?
  • Curry powder/cumin/garam masala - to taste
  • S+P - to taste
  • Meat? Tofu? Other crazy things? - your call.
  • AN ONION - I don't care if you "don't like them." You are confused, add it anyways.
Okay, so as you've noticed, I'm not a huge fan of exact measuring. I'm sorry that I'm not sorry.

Moving on, step one: (Cut a hole in the box.) Dice your garlic, peel your ginger (with a spoon works best), beat the living hell out of your lemongrass (seriously, that's what you're supposed to do), and open your coconut milk into a pan or a pot or whatever you have that works. Throw your things I just told you to do stuff with in the cooking vessel. Bring that to a simmer and let it do it's thing for a little while, you want all your ingredients to lend their flavours to your sauce. 

When you can taste the lemongrass (should be about 10-15 mins) and your sauce is quite a bit thicker and more lovely, you should add your spices. Okay, here I'm gonna lecture about tasting your shit as you go, because when you don't bad things are gonna happen. Don't be afraid to spoon your food in and around your mouth before you serve it (okay, maybe not around). After your sauce tastes wonderful, strain it.

While your sauce is simmering, go ahead and cut your veg or whatever. After it's done, you can saute up some garlic and onion in oil. Reduce your heat and add your veg, meat, etc in there. Be mindful of the cooking times of your veg. For instance, if you have broc, add that with your meat, but if you have zucchini, add that quite a bit later since it takes very little time.

When your veg is cooked-ish, deglaze that shit with some white wine. Feel free to experiment with different liquors BTW, I'm just kind of poor. After your wine (or other fancy alcohol, like tequilla or sake) has reduced, pour your sauce into your veg. Let that sauce thicken for a bit.

OKAY PS I forgot to tell you to do up your rice, or noods, depending on preferance, at the same time you're sautéing your veg/meat/aliens. So, yes. Do that.

At the end, when I plate, I garnish with some green onions, because then I look like a fancy cook, and I am. And so can you be.

The end.


TL;DR: If you don't like onions, you aren't cooking them properly.

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